Deployment is on the brain

I was thinking about this post as I was drifting to sleep last night. I realized I already kinda suck at the blogging, being as I wanted to do it everyday, and totally flaked this weekend, but it was for a good reason. This weekend was probably the last full weekend we'll have before the deployment.

Yikes.

That makes me so sad in so many ways. This deployment is one of the big reasons for wanting to do this project of thanksgivings. For anyone who isn't a military wife, deployments are harder than you can even imagine. It's a time when you're alone with yourself, a lot, and that can be a scary thing. It can also be a good thing for your soul, to get to know yourself again.

When you get married, and especially when you have precious little babies, sometimes you get lost in the shuffle. I know that Sarah sometimes (most of the times) gets neglected so that everyone else has the time they need. One good thing about deployments is that you have time to work on you. It's also scary to see yourself again, because you can be hard to recognize. I'm looking forward to me being a project.

Most everything else about this deployment is killing me. I am worried about my sweet husband having to say good bye to two babies, and I'm worried even more about the two babies being left behind. All I can do is tell myself we will survive, because what choice do we really have?

We still have a couple of months before he leaves, before the dreaded good byes, but the hours are going to be terrible and then there is an underway too. (Did I mention I love the Navy?) I have decided that I am going to try, really try, to keep the black cloud of a looming deployment at bay, and try to enjoy our time together to it's fullest. Not an easy task, but I'm tough, I can do it. I am just thankful that this is our last one with this command. When he gets home, we'll have 3 glorious years of shore duty to look forward to. So that's my thanksgiving, this is our last one of these sons of bitches for awhile. Hey, at least I like him enough that these are hard, right?