Wanting my children

Today I was reading an article in Parenting (March 2011 issue) while waiting in the doctor's office.

*Sidebar - We had an adventure with a toilet seat/lid smashing Asher's boy parts. No permanent damage, but he's in some pain. Poor kid.

The article was about same sex families. Now I don't want to make this a political or religious blog, so I'm not going to go into rights or wrongs. I, personally, don't have a problem with anyone being a parent, as long as they are good to the children. I know plenty of straight people who have NO business having kids and I know homosexual people who are or would be great parents.

Anyways, this article is written by a woman in a lesbian relationship raising twin boys and talking about how we need to redefine what "Family" means in this country. I am fine and dandy with that. Family is a group of people that love each other. There are all different kinds of families, and I support them all.

The thing about this article that bothered me as when they started talking about a study. The U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study, which followed the children of a number of lesbian mothers over a 25 year period. It showed that teens of lesbian couples had fewer behavioral problems and better school performance than their peers with straight parents. I don't have a problem with that, I think it's actually rather interesting. However, the reasoning one doctor, Nanette Gartrell M.D., gave really pissed me off. She said that she wasn't surprised by the results because "The children we studied we highly desired. They didn't result from a broken condom or too much alcohol. Their parents worked hard to have them and didn't take the privilegee of having kids lightly"

What the hell? So, children born to straight people aren't desired? We just have broken condoms or drunken accidents and so we take the privilege of having children lightly? I'm sorry, but that's just crap. I honestly cannot believe anyone would write something that repulsive. I read and re-read this, thinking I must have taken it the wrong way, but no matter how I read it, it just offended and insulted me down to my core! Yeah, I didn't have to do IVF or any kind of fertility treatments to get pregnant, but we tried for 2.5 YEARS before we had Asher. And Abby Kate nearly killed me while I was carrying. My kids were desired. My babies we prayed for every single day. I used to cry myself to sleep almost nightly before we got pregnant, begging God to please let us have a baby. Just because we're straight and most straight people can get pregnant easily doesn't mean we don't want our children! It also doesn't mean that unplanned pregnancies result in an unwanted child! Gah! I didn't have a problem with lesbians, but if they're going to act holier than thou because they had to try harder to get a baby, then I am going to have an issue.

That little rant aside, my thanksgiving is how glad I am to have my sweet precious little miracles. I prayed for these two children. I dreamed about these babies. I worked VERY hard to get them here. They are a gift that, for a time, I was afraid I wasn't going to get. I thank God everyday for the privilege of getting to share my life with these beautiful souls who bring me more joy than I ever dreamed of.